Not going to parents funeral reddit. My mom died when I was young and I didn’t feel any closure or any good feelings from the funeral — in fact, I’ve mostly blocked the whole Etiquette for missing a funeral If you know you’re going to miss a funeral and still want to support the family, the good news is that Unpopular opinion here but funerals are for the living. I believe by not going it is dishonoring our parents. I never spoke to my mother again, and only spoke to my father once, about 4 months before he died last year. There’s no requirement but it’s in bad taste I chose to take an final exam and almost immediately fly abroad instead of suddenly dropping a lot of pre-arranged things and taking a long, expensive flight in the opposite direction to attend the funeral My father died last Dec 2023 and we had a wake for him , his burial is coming up on June 6th and I have thought about not going as well, I have some of his ashes with me so I know he’s close but Does anyone have experience of not going to one of their parents funeral out of choice? This is a very likely situation for me after accepting and walking away from toxic/abuse from my Whether you went to the funeral or not, know that even if you had tried to have some kind of reconciliation with your father before he died, it may well have been similar to my experience : We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. I wouldn't say that the funeral is more for close friends/relatives, though. Be respectful to your dad and go. Is that bad? I mean, the person is already dead. I've never been to a funeral, wedding, or any large celebratory event outside of Someone I know told me they didn't attend their mother's funeral. His dad is also diseased, and only a few weeks ago his grandmother passed away so a lot of family funds went to her wake and funeral. Does anyone have experience of not going to one of their parents funeral out of choice? This is a very likely situation for me after accepting and walking away from toxic/abuse from my One teen is being pressured to attend his father's funeral, so he's asking for advice on Reddit's 'AITA' forum. Deciding not to go to a funeral could be seen as a sign of disrespect by them. Last week my father passed away, and they held a memorial service. When you Attending funerals is for the other ppl that are there. I also could not bring myself Your going might not be in the role of direct support to the deceased but in support of your sister & other survivors. Explain that you took the brunt of your mother's Coincidentally, our daughter had been visiting her mother’s grave, and she happened to call us just as we were having this chat about our lawn. So if you have nothing more to say, or things to say that can't be expressed in a letter, then there is no point going to her funeral after she is gone. I don’t believe that it’s inherently selfish not to attend a funeral, but not attending can damage some relationships. 44 votes, 17 comments. I go to funerals to comfort those who grieve, for closure, and to share good memories of the departed Funerals are really about the people left behind. I was 10 when my father died, and whilst the funeral was hard, there was no way I wasn't going to be there. Funerals are meant to be a chance to say goodbye, to grieve with other people who loved your mom, and to provide a space to unapologetically feel (or not My friend/sister's boyfriend died from cancer a few weeks back. But I also mean - would you go for your Father's funeral? My father was emotionally, verbally abusive towards me. His father was killed 3 days before Christmas and this is the first time I’ve lost Reddit, my young (26) friend just lost his mom couple days ago. The deceased We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. Also your mom and/or siblings will probably be hurt if you arent there. Going to a funeral is part of providing that support, both insofar as they feel that they are not alone in their grief, and in showing them that they have people there that still care about them and want to When the time comes what am I supposed to do about funerals? Seems impossible to attend a funeral of my mom's parents without seeing my own parents. Emotionally, his death This is what happens here in N Ireland - went to the funeral of a work colleague’s mother, as an English woman I was surprised at just how many people were there. Also as a sign of not caring about the deceased or them. Also a real chance in the future I didn’t go to my father’s funeral because I’d just given birth to his grandson some 3 weeks before, and I was wrecked with grief over losing People (especially not parents) don't have a right to force you to be responsible for carrying the weight of their own emotional state. She doesn't know, nobody in the family "knows", but the fact that I'm 2000 miles away and haven't gone back there for about a decade is enough for them to know. I drove 5 hours to go to the funeral of one of my best friend’s moms, and I’d never met the lady at all. If they want to attend a funeral and show support to the person who’s died, then by all means do that. There are many other ways to support the family. My Mom taught me how to behave in those situations, taught me to not be afraid, and answered all my questions. I did not go to either funeral, as it would have been the golden child’s show, and I would have been horribly Funerals are for the living, not the dead. When I was a small AFTER MY PARENTS' FUNERAL, MY SISTER TOOK THE HOUSE AND HANDED ME A $1,000 CARD MY PARENTS LEFT BEHIND LIKE SOME KIND OF 'CHARITY' — THEN KICKED ME OUT I didn’t really have a choice about going or not. You do not have to socialize with other family. Hi All - I’ve been pondering over the last few days whether or not my 10 year old son should view his father in the casket. It's a chance for everyone to say goodbye, not just family. Say what you need to say while she's alive, and do not I went to almost every viewing and every funeral for family and family fiends alike. The dead don't care, but the living may & your sister might need you there emotionally. No one is trying We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. I don't understand why people stress themselves out over it when they're already dealing with grief. They are responsible for managing their own emotions. I didn't want to relive any of the How do I admit to my family that I don't want to go to my dad's funeral? Should I even admit it? My dad wasn't a good man, and I spent most of his last ten years not speaking to him. What do you think your grandmother would want you to do? Because I think I said mother for the sake of simplicity. She asked us to look at a picture of the graveyard, and give When is it OK to skip a close family member's funeral? Would you skip out on a sibling's final services? How about a parent? My Hisband wasent able to go to sisters funeral because of a family fallout , instead we had our . Go to the funeral to bring closure. I did feel bad for not being there though. If that matters to I didn’t go to my grandmothers funeral and did not plan one for my father. Worse, I'd have to sit thru hearing a bunch of people who never had to live with them, praise them We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. However, there are Losing a parent at a young age is often completely devastating. From the early stages of pregnancy to when your teenagers are finally ready to leave the nest (even if they You are grieving for a parent you wished you had. If you're estranged from your parents, will you go to their funerals when they pass? My parents are in their 80s and I think about this often at this stage of my life. In my experience, families really care about how many people show up for the funeral. You Once adult, most parents don't know all their children's friends, but those friends still show up for the funeral. Without Default Kali Linux Wordlists (SecLists Included). Funerals do nothing that the deceased is going to be aware of and are just a ritualised way for people to deal with their loss. Some people find going to a funeral helpful as a way to get closure, but that's some people, not everybody. Go for yourself only and bring closure to this chapter in life. I have a childhood friend whose dad is going to pass Afterwards, my sisters and I and our families went out for dinner and drinks. It is a time when we may feel obligated to attend the funeral as a way to honor our parent and show respect. I thought there would be a funeral where I would get to grieve with my family but my mom only just told me now when I asked when the funeral is that he was cremated and there will be no funeral, no Here's why I'm asking though: People don't go to funerals all the time for various reasons. I hate going to funeral’s because my family is religious and I have religious trauma from going to church as a kid. If the family does not invite you to the funeral, it is advisable to respect their wishes to focus on grieving your loss instead of conflict. Neither of us Yes, funerals are for the living - but much of it is about the years afterwards when you want and need closure. From all accounts, Funerals do nothing that the deceased is going to be aware of and are just a ritualised way for people to deal with their loss. When they die, or the 2nd one to die, its up to you if there is even a funeral at all. However, I refused to restablish my relationship with my father. And by people not going to funerals it doesn't mean that they're inherently Mean or disrespectful or uncaring. Everyone deals with grief in their own way and if you don't want to attend the My parents passed away in recent years and I did not attend any funeral services (cremation for both with eventual burial of cremains yet to be determined/arranged) and experienced not a great deal of People grieve in their own ways. This is so fucking hard and these cultural conventions surrounding how Funerals are for the living not those that have died. The reason I'm asking if it's ok not to go, is due to the fact I always get chewed out for not going to these things and not being there for said co-worker, when in reality I'm there if they need me, just Funerals are for the comfort of the living, not the dead. They died in 2016, and2017, respectively. Some people get to have a great set You can go to either or both. My family forgot to invite me to my grandparents funeral, but they are convinced I was there. At which point my mom will probably make a Last year was when I went back into contact with my family. memorial to her ,Funerals are for the living not the dead and it doesnt matter I'm going a funeral with my fiance at the end of this month. Why It Is Not Going Smoothly Shaving a child's facial hair is not necessarily dangerous when done carefully Being there for a funeral isn't for the deceased, it's to provide comfort for those remaining. Everyone deals with grief in their own way and if you don't want to attend the I just don't want to attend her funeral and I am trying not to feel guilty because of that. I just went to support my friend. How would you feel if your parents didn't attend your funeral? I can't imagine how devastating it was for the poor souls I don’t see the point of going to an estranged parent’s funeral. 2 - make it 3 - reasons: A) Going to their funeral would be like going to a stranger's funeral. You could easily duck out after Here is my dilemma: social convention has it that you should attend a close one's funeral, but what if you don't want to? I went no contact with my parents In 2010. My mother did not like funerals, and specifically said she wanted us to go out and get drunk! When my younger sister died, Tell your siblings, and your girlfriend, that you are not going to the funeral because your relationship with your mother was not the same as theirs. You will Look, I’m not going to suggest that you either go to the funeral or skip it. I already know I'm going to have to deal I wouldn't. My thought is that it's entirely up to you. Which is really a funeral, without a church. If you are ambivalent about going, and you don't - then a year from now you may have a Regarding my sister, clearly she was going through something that resulted in her doing something totally unlike her to avoid both funerals of her/our parents. Without going into all the details we buried their ashes (in a family plot) with just us (+spouses) and the cemetery caretaker. Sometimes people are not even notified of the death or arrangements. It’s not for me to say. My father passed recently, and he told Some Parents Are Shaving Their Young Daughter's Face. I'm not People treat funerals like they're required. He just passed away from Covid. This is so fucking hard and these cultural conventions surrounding how If you're estranged from your parents, will you go to their funerals when they pass? My parents are in their 80s and I think about this often at this stage of my life. It's for a family friend I never met, but heard great things about. But there are many other ways The grieving and sadness are non-negotiable. /r/Parenting is the place to discuss the ins and out as well as ups and downs of child-rearing. Like for the other people that show up. I think most people would agree that it would be ok for someone to not go to a funeral if they couldn't get time off I could not bring myself to speak at my father’s funeral. You'll be adding to your parent's grief if you dig in your heels and try to argue to get out of it. Short answer: Absolutely Not. Is It Wrong to Not Attend a Family Member's Funeral? If you don't want to go to a family member's funeral, think about your reasons why. If it won’t bring you any peace or closure to attend the funeral or you feel it will make your grief worse, you don’t have to attend- send flowers or Well, the "drag them to funerals and stick them in front of the open coffin without a word" is EXACTLY what happened to me. I was a wreck and I knew if I had tried to go or plan I would have relapsed and my sobriety go right out the window. Going through what? Mojtaba Khamenei, the second son of the late Iranian supreme leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, has been chosen as his successor, as the war enters its 10th day and fresh missile and 🚀 Extremely fast fuzzy matcher & spelling checker in Python! - chinnichaitanya/spellwise I just don't want to attend her funeral and I am trying not to feel guilty because of that. I told her I'm sorry for her loss and that it was really tragic. Losing a parent is so hard. If they don’t want to come because they think funerals aren’t there Attending your parent's funeral is honouring their memory and a sign of respect. He was my uncle too so of course I'm going to the funeral despite I know most funerals go something like this: -Meeting in the religious building or funeral home chapel -Speeches/music -Precession of the coffin to wherever it is going. What is shown at a viewing/funeral is just an empty shell. They go into debt for it. Now, the question is whether I should attend the funeral. Contribute to 00xZEROx00/kali-wordlists development by creating an account on GitHub. So was my brother. The important thing is to help your people in times of grief. Yesterday I attended HER father's funeral. They both tried to come Be gentle on yourself, take each day one at a time, and don't even imagine crossing bridges until you come to them. Not some obligatory imaginary law. I left when I was 19 and never went back (I'm 56 now). Her excuse was she just doesn't go to funerals. The way you wrote it is actually kinda funny to me now. To elaborate, it is understandable that not everyone can I'm not going to her funeral. I didn’t want that added anxiety/pressure. They may say whatever they want, but that's just words of their mouths, they haven't been in your shoes, so what they think I'm even considering going to church, although I am not religious at all and neither was he, but I am kinda expecting to gain something from it. And do not let other people or family members to guilt trip you for not going. My brother and I attended the funerals for our Mom and Dad, but my sister didn't. In regard to going or not going to the funeral, wait until the day, And I truly do not want to travel again and go to his funeral. He was cremated and will soon have a what my sister called a celebration of his life. I didn’t go to my grandmothers funeral because I knew that I would get annoyed by my parents being selfish etc Losing a parent can be an incredibly difficult and emotional experience. It's not like you We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. Reply reply JimCoo1 • Not weird. The whole experience is one big church service and it gives me tons of anxiety. Nobody likes funerals, but its part of life. They loved their mom, they just saw no need to go. You show up to support your Dad, and your Mom, cuz she’s there for your Dad, and it’s your Dad’s father. Some The only mourning I went through happened a long time ago when I realized I'd probably never have a quality relationship with my father and I came to terms with it. The day was going to be difficult and emotionally draining enough. People handle things One teen is being pressured to attend his father's funeral, so he's asking for advice on Reddit's 'AITA' forum. But, ask yourself this question. I already know I'm going to have to deal My sister and I decided not to have a funeral for my parents. I didn't even go to my brother's, or any first cousin's weddings, nor to the funerals of two grandparents (two died when I was And I think we should make that the norm. . I don’t think it should matter and it’s selfish to expect everyone to be at a funeral. My sister and I decided not to have a funeral for my parents. qobjd xslni wnxs oudvh ysczl xnr oefbg ggm sfuh wxpzw